Passed over for a promotion? Don’t get mad, get helpful.

Topic: Passed over for a promotion? Don’t get mad, get helpful. Free registration, CCE pending.
Presenter: Feargal Moorhead
Date: March 26, 2025, 8:00 US PT, 11:00 US ET, 16:00 CET, 20:30 IST (90 minutes)
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This presentation focuses on a situation that has happened to many of us – we expected a promotion, but it went to someone else. Now, what do we do? The reality is that this is a very personal decision and will depend on your own personal goals, your values, your beliefs about what has occurred and your personal appetite to help, amongst other things.

I have personally felt this at least three times i.e. I thought I was the front runner for an elevated position promotion and I didn’t get it. The most bizarre was when I was put in charge of ~80% of the workforce and had to report to 2 managers in a 2 in a box arrangement.

In each case, I decided that others knew better than me and that they made the best decision from their point of view. My goal had to be to understand the ‘why’ and ‘what’ of that decision, but in the meantime, my role was to make my new manager(s) successful by ensuring that we successfully delivered on our objectives.

Also, what is the alternative, which I have observed many people do – prove to everyone that the leadership made the wrong decision in not appointing you? This ends up in a miserable experience for the team, the manager, and the person trying to prove everyone wrong (or in their view, proving themself right).

What do we do as coaches when we encounter this?

Reflect on the patterns that have been occurring – the feedback the client has been getting (assuming they have been transparent), the feedback from stakeholders, the actual results the client has been demonstrating, etc. Commiserate – disappointment is disappointment whether it is deserved or not. Suggest that the client keeps as much of their routine as normal as they can – attend the meetings they have been attending, lead the projects they have been leading, lead/manage the way they were the day before they were aware of this. We know that maintaining a routine leads to less stress. Ask the client to seek to understand why they didn’t get the role. The client needs to ensure that the decision makers know that they are not trying to overturn the decision, but that they want to learn from this. Coach the client to be ready for the ‘simple’ answer of ‘the other person was just better’. Be curious – ask for examples. Ask the leaders to give advice for the future e.g. how could the client get themselves into a place where they could be considered for this position the next time (feedforward vs feedback)

Competencies: This is in the eye of the beholder but I see the following:

Helping others succeed is the right (ethical) thing to do for the company and for the team.
Reaching out and actively helping others builds trust and safety, not just between you and the manager, but for the whole team as their expectation may have been for discord, but instead they see supportive behaviors.
Requires you to really listen to the new leader – it is not what you expected, but they have been chosen by others who had that responsibility. They saw something you didn’t see – try to understand what that is.

Feargal Moorhead

Recently entered the world of leadership coaching after 30+ years’ experience in the corporate world, most recently as Chief People Officer for Zoox (a start-up focused on autonomous taxis). Prior to this, spent almost 26 years at Intel in both Ireland and the US. Started life at Intel as a production manager building the ‘beige’ PCs that occupied many offices in the 90’s and early 2000s (before Steve Jobs taught us that we could have PCs in different colors!!). Moved to Human Resources as a comp analyst and then went on to hold management and leadership positions in many divisions at Intel. Started my working life as a production manager in a now defunct company called Connacht Court that was about as far away from technology as one could imagine – we were a textile rental company (bed linens, restaurant linens, workwear, etc.).

Came to coaching as a result of realizing that the corporate world was not generating the enjoyment it used to. Reflected on the roles and situations that generated the greatest satisfaction, and it was always about partnering with leaders to solve challenging problems on the business side through engaging their teams in a different manner. It was also heavily influenced by how they showed up as a leader and how they could modify this to get better results.

Now building a practice as a coach for leaders and up and coming leaders.